What to do if you can’t physically be with your special someone? That’s hard but totally manageable. Today you will learn exactly how to survive a long distance relationship successfully.
we simply can’t help how we feel about someone, no matter how far they might be. And guess what? Just because they are going to be far, doesn’t mean all bets are off.
You shouldn’t discredit a long distance partner if you really think that person is special. Nothing worth having in life is easy to pursue sometimes, even love!
How to survive a long distance relationship
How to survive a long distance relationship comes down to 2 things: 2 people who know what they want and can commit.
I’m living proof. To summarize my story, I did long distance with a Spaniard for 2 whole years. We were so far, we were literally on different continents. We met traveling, after all what really leads someone to nonconform and hop on the road? Click here to learn why we chose travel and what paves the way for others.
I was in the US while he was in Spain. Fast forward to now, we live together. So if we can do it, so can you!
Here are exactly 9 amazing useful tips on how long distance can stand the test.
When learning how to survive a long distance, one of the most important things IS communication.
If you are just starting this, you need to figure out ground rules and when you will have quality time. Is it every day, a few times a day? Once a week? Is there a time difference? What’s their work schedule like?
Talk about it and organize a communication plan.
Maintaining any kind of relationship means enjoying everyday moments together. That’s where technology comes in. Utilizing technology to communicate every day is one of the best long distance tips that exist.
Have your partner feel like they were really there by being incredibly detailed. Keep them up to date with your special moments and activities. Find ways!
Instead of saying things like “Sarah and I went to the park today” say “I went to Central Park with Sarah, we had such a great workout. We walked for 5 miles at 3 and it was a sunny day, there weren’t that many people around and I even didn’t see that many tourists”
See the difference?
These details make things much more entertaining to tell your partner. It also helps them feel like they knew what went on even though they weren’t there.
Basically, keep them in the loop.
The majority of people have access to the internet so there’s no way you truly can’t communicate even if you are miles away.
It’s common for long-distance couples to talk a lot in this generation because they’re always connected. However, avoid excessive communication so no one feels dependent. This will lead to a steady emotional connection.
Nowadays, you can phone call, video call, WhatsApp, Facebook call, the list literally goes on and on.
Have a plan to communicate regularly. Know your preferred method of talking, when you will talk, and how often.
Creating this plan makes both partners stay on track instead of thinking or wondering why the person isn’t calling or when you will talk to them again.
Keep the relationship private and stay confident
Keep your relationship private or between people you can really trust so you can remain confident about it.
You don’t want a lot of outside opinions influencing your thoughts. This will contribute to insecurity in your relationships.
The reason why is because there are tons of naysayers. Many people will have a very strong feeling about you being in a long distance relationship. That’s not your problem to explain yourself to make them understand.
Nor should you have to!
The most common judgments and hesitations of a long distance couples are:
- Why not find someone closer
- A cheating partner
The reality is though, they don’t know your partner, only you know your partner and your relationship. Trust your gut and your own judgment.
These negative opinions are really hard to digest in the beginning. To prevent people from getting inside your head, don’t even talk about it if you don’t have to. This is a great long distance relationship tip because people can get to you.
People can be negative and if someone doesn’t know the full situation, why overexplain to try to get reassurance? It’s a waste of unnecessary energy.
Save your confidence and your energy and talk about your relationship with your partner who truly is aware of everything.
Have a plan to see each other
Timing! When planning a trip, think about the days you have to see each other and how long it will take to get there. When trying to figure out how to survive a long distance relationship, you need to know when you’re going to physically be seeing your partner.
Don’t disregard the importance of seeing each other. Sometimes a long distance partner leads to fixed ideas that perhaps when you meet up in real life, you don’t click the way you thought you would.
Seeing each other as frequently as possible keeps things fresh and lets your love grow.
The last thing you want to do is let things go stale and go really long periods without seeing each other. See each other often as your schedules allow it.
Per my experience, my partner and I always used 2-3 months as a time stamp.
Make up a time frame that is realistic for both of your schedules and plan dates.
Commit or let your partner know you’re not committing
Figure out if you are both committed to the relationship from the very beginning. This is easier said than done but why not try to prevent confusion?
Ask your partner these relationship questions:
- Are you seeing anyone else or do you plan to ?
- Do you believe in monogamy?
- Will you be honest with me?
- Are you going to commit to making plans to see each other?
Even though some responses might suck, at least you know the truth. This prevents you from getting hurt and not knowing what to expect. Knowing how someone acts when their sexual desire is peaking is so important.
If you don’t talk about it, you won’t know. This gives you clarity so you are both on the same page and avoids either party having a false conception of what the relationship really is.
Commit to the relationship, commit to each other, and commit to seeing each other. Those are the basic commitments. If you can’t commit to that then it’s time to have another conversation. These are absolute ground rules you should set and be aware of. Never assume!
How to survive a long distance relationship: have a long term plan
You MUST have an end game plan in any long distance commitment. If you don’t, you will eventually start to think, where is this actually going?
Reality is, when learning how to survive a long distance relationship, one person in the relationship will have to move.
So ask yourselves, which partner is going to move? If the answer is no one wants to do it, then you really should think about if the relationship is going to work.
Why? Because this means that your relationship will never grow out of the long distance phase.
Having a long term plan not only gives you answers but keeps both partners on track and lets you know how long the actual commitment will be.
Doing this gives you both something to look forward too and educates you on when your relationship dynamic will change.
Perhaps this isn’t the conversation you’ll have the first date but the sooner you know your solution, the quicker you both will merge lives.
Moving anywhere is a process, let alone moving to another country so prepare! It’s something to organize and discuss with your partner within the first year.
Focus on yourself
Try to focus on yourself and the things you need to do, not only on the relationship. I know it’s hard to not make your significant other your main priority, but we all must love ourselves first before we love someone else.
Make sure you are taking time to grow and be better apart from the relationship. After all, the relationship shouldn’t be your whole life, it should be a part of your life.
Too often, this kind of relationship leads to too much codependency. Try to keep some things of your life private to keep your independence.
This gives both parties space and the room to feel like they can focus on themselves. As a result, you both have more to learn about each other and the relationship doesn’t get boring.
From the beginning, be honest about your emotions and commitment so you can truly get to know your partner.
Don’t bottle up emotions because odds are your partner probably feels the same.
Try to get to really know them, ask them questions when you are together – analyze the time you spent together – Was it fun? Were you happy?
Sometimes we create images of who people are. With so much time apart it could contribute you to having a different interpretation of them. Check-in with your reality.
You can also read books to help you keep a good perception. One of the best is 5 love languages.
Regardless, always tell the truth even if it hurts so you can grow a meaningful relationship.
Be realistic with your sacrifices
How to survive a long distance relationship means being honest with your sacrifices. Know and accept the sacrifices you will make for the relationship.
If you make moves, but never really wanted to, you will start to grow animosity towards your partner. Stay true to what you want but also compromise with your partner.
Sacrifice — is the biggest downfall of any relationship. Not everyone wants to do so much.
Know that whoever is taking the leap to move, they are sacrificing A LOT. If you are on the other end, be supportive and empathetic, it is not easy for anyone to move, especially for love.
Once the moving partner arrives, try to get settled together and know the paperwork process. If it’s a different country, it will involve a good amount of paperwork.
Long distance couples actitivities
You need to do relationship activities to keep it fresh and to stay connected. This will make your relationship stronger and more exciting since you’ll have something to look forward to.
Here are the best ideas of how you can have a unique date when you are far away:
- Cook together
- Virtually show them around your hometown
- Enjoy facetime dates such as meals, wine nights, movie nights, etc
- Send a care package and make a date out of it
- Write an “open when” letter and give them an occasion to open it
- Organize a dream bucket list together
- Play games
- Collaborate on your next visit together
- Plan conversation dates so you can ask each other anything
- Teach each other something
Find ways to keep each other in the present world. Create shared experiences and tell your partner to help feel connected.
How to survive a long distance relationship for a long period of time
To survive a long distance relationship for a long period of time, you need to know when the long distance will end. Find an end date and commit to it.
If long term plans change, speak up. The last thing anyone wants is to be waiting for someone to only find out it was a giant waste of time. You owe your partner the truth.
What kills long-distance relationships?
Not communicating about things is essentially the root of what kills any relationship. You have to stay up to date on your desires and goals because guess what, if something changes, all plans can change.
Healthy relationships calls for extra long term planning so if you guys see you have different goals in the end, it won’t work.
Either way, it’s best to talk about these things with your partner so you know their status.
Can long distance relationships work?
Yes, long distance relationships can work if 2 people are open for having this type of relationship, commit, and are honest. It’s not as hard as people make it out to be but it’s definitely not for everyone.
If you follow the advice in this article, you will be in great shape.
When to let go of a long-distance relationship?
You should let go of a long-distance relationship when it no longer serves you and it becomes too toxic. The reality is, that any kind of intimate relationship is a lot to handle.
A long-distance relationship might find a dead-end road sooner if you don’t have an end goal together. If consistent problems keep coming up, it could be very difficult to solve those problems so far away.
In other words, if it becomes too exhausting or doesn’t have a future, let it go. Don’t be afraid to end the long-distance relationship. Happiness comes first and that’s with every relationship.
How to survive a long distance relationship conclusion
These long-distance relationship tips will keep you and your partner headed towards a bright positive future together.
All relationships are hard work, no matter the distance. Making an effort, being honest, and committing will make a world of a difference.
Relationships are meant to work for you not against you, make sure things are meeting your needs. If not, have a conversation on how you can feel pleased. Always communicate regularly so you can stay up to date with each other.
Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship or have thought about one? Let me know in the comments below!